The College Football Championship, Mayan calendar, Fiscal Cliff and Gordo’s Cheese Dip
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Happy New Year cheese lovers! As 2012 wound down to its inexorable conclusion, I was reminded of the iconic line from a song by the rock group The Grateful Dead: What a long, strange trip it’s been! We were busy, busy, busy in the year just past; what with the hustle and bustle of getting ready for the world to end and dangling off the fiscal cliff. I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for some tranquility and quiet contemplation in 2013.
However, that might not be possible.
I have discovered a fascinating phenomenon – let’s not jump to conclusions and call it a “Mayan Conundrum,” just yet – that suggests a strange “coincidence” related to something we all love – Gordo’s Cheese Dip. This delicious dip is integral to the theory/fact and the revelations that have been uncovered will likely make headlines throughout 2013. It involves the Three Degrees of Separation from Gordo’s Cheese Dip! Hold on to your chips because this story is going to change the way you look at Gordo’s…forever.
The Six Degrees of Separation
We’ve all heard about the “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.” It’s a parlor game where we try to find a series of six people or events that tie someone or something to the actor Kevin Bacon. By the way, the constant publicity must make Kevin very happy. At least it helps him to keep bringing home the bacon.
What you may not know is that this game is based on a book written in 1929 by Hungarian author Frigyes Karinthy, who published a volume of short stories titled “Everything is Different.” One of these stories was titled “Chain-Links.” The story investigated in abstract, conceptual, and fictional terms many of the problems that would captivate future generations of mathematicians, sociologists, and physicists within the field of network theory.
As online reference site Wikipedia notes about the writer: “Due to technological advances in communications and travel, friendship networks could grow larger and span greater distances. In particular, Karinthy believed that the modern world was ‘shrinking’ due to this ever-increasing connectedness of human beings. He posited that despite great physical distances between the globe’s individuals, the growing density of human networks made the actual social distance far smaller.” Of course, this guy was smarter than anyone thought, especially when you realize that he was coming up with this back in 1929.
So, what the heck does this book of fiction, written almost 85 years ago have to do with Gordo’s Cheese Dip? After a great deal of research and many, many containers of Gordo’s Original, Mild, Hot, Chipotle and Salsa, I have determined that EVERY important person, subject or event is only 3 steps from Gordo’s. Yes, it’s mind-blowing, but true!
Some of you might not believe my scientific analysis and breakthrough research. Well, they didn’t believe Columbus, Newton or Sponge Bob at first either. But it turned out that they were all right as rain. Here’s why.
People who attempt to understand consumer preferences and potential profitable trends are constantly checking polls and online analytic tools such as the Google Hot Trends. In a very short time, using its super-secret algorithms, Google has become the first stop for anyone searching for information about anything.
Billions of people hit the Google search bar to find out an amazingly wide variety of subjects. The Google folks have realized that tracking these billions of searches can inform what subjects are most important to a large portion of planet earth at any given time.
They put these results on a site called Google Hot Trends and companies and individuals who want to know what’s “trending” at any given time, just visit this site and immediately find out how many searches are being conducted about a given topic. The topics that have the most hits, trend higher. Check “Johnny Football” and this topic is red hot, but last year’s failed TV shows…not so much.
These Google Hot Trends help prove the Three Degrees of Separation from Gordo’s Cheese Dip. Here’s how. Let’s look at three Google Hot Trends from the past week:
The Mayan prediction of the end of the world in December >>> Gordo’s
(1) The Mayans were located in the present day Mexico
(2) Mexico is where chipotle (a smoke-dried jalapeno) is found
(3) Jalapenos are known as “cuaresmeno” or simply “gordos”
Next step… (wait for it) Gordo’s!
Freaky right? This shows a direct line, in three steps from the Mayan prediction and Gordo’s Cheese ‘n Chipotle Dip.
How about this one? The BCS College Football Championship game between Alabama and Notre Dame. It’s one of the hottest of the hot trends on Google Hot Trends. Here are the Three Degrees of Separation from the College Football Championship game and Gordo’s Cheese Dip.
The College Football Championship Game >>> Gordo’s Cheese Dip
(1) College football is known for its rabid fans
(2) What will the fans of both teams be doing in Miami before this big game? Tailgating, of course.
(3) Tailgating requires copious amounts of food, beverages and most importantly, cheese dip
See what we mean? The best dip in America is Gordo’s Cheese Dip. In fact, it is the Champion of college football cheese dips.
How about the current events and the Three Degrees of Separation from Gordo’s Cheese Dip? The hottest trending event in the past six month is the US government teetering on the fiscal cliff. This couldn’t possibly have anything to do with Gordo’s Cheese Dip, could it? Yes, I’m afraid it does!
The Fiscal Cliff >>> Gordo’s Cheese Dip
(1) This traumatic situation was caused by the elected officials from both parties failing to agree on spending. Politicians were to blame for this.
(2) Politicians of different parties are angry with each other largely because they don’t hang out together and get to know each other better, maybe even become friends
(3) Friends get together for backyard parties, football watching parties and other events where great snacks, like cheese dip is served.
That of course leads to Gordo’s Cheese Dip. It’s a known fact that if the Republicans and Democrats had stopped yapping and started dipping, the fiscal cliff could have been avoided back in September.
I realize that these facts will be startling to many of you, but facts are facts. Every situation, famous person, sports and entertainment event is only three steps away from Gordo’s Cheese Dip. So the next time someone brings up Kevin Bacon, feel free to share these revelations with them.
There is, however, no cause for alarm. Unlike the eminent end of the world, an ominous Da Vinci code or Nostradamus prediction, the Three Degrees of Separation from Gordo’s Cheese Dip is a happy, natural phenomenon. It’s just like eating Gordo’s Cheese Dip.
Oh yeah, when the book and movie come out, you’ll hear about first right here. Now, get out there, have some fun and start some conspiracy theories of your own!
Photo credit: Flickr Creative Commons Peta-de-Aztlan’s Photostream